I can’t write a blog post without pointing out that the last blog post I wrote was my May recap…so now that we’ve addressed that I am really bad at consistently posting on my blog, and I know this is nearly two weeks late…but better late than never?
But let’s move on…
Hello lovely people!
June 2017 has been a month I’ve been anticipating since a very young age.
I turned eighteen and I graduated. Those are two very significant moments in a young person’s life.
To be honest, I am having a hard time writing this post because when significant things happen in my life I tend to just feel them. It can be difficult to talk about those feelings, not at all because they’re bad feelings (quite the opposite) but I try not overthinking it, I just take it as it comes, talking about it like, “wow this is it” actually makes me enjoy things less. (I’m a complicated bean.)
But that’s why I didn’t have anything to say the day I graduated, I didn’t have anything to say when I turned 18. It just happened.
I genuinely cannot find the right words to describe June of 2017.
I sincerely just enjoyed June, I think that knowing significant things were happening, was making me embrace the moments as they came.
First up was my eighteenth birthday. I always knew this would be a “big one”.
Turning eighteen brings about the season of life that is new and exciting.
New responsibilities and opportunities.
I am not at all where I wanted to be at eighteen; I always dreamed that by now I would have a record deal or one of my books would be published…but you know, I graduated highschool and am going to college.
Sometimes dreams change, and I ‘ve learned that change is a beautiful season.
I am so incredibly grateful that God has lead me where He has.
I can’t help but feel that this is where I am meant to be.
Speaking of dreams, I want you to know that sometimes dreams come true, just WAY differently than you anticipated them to.
Growing up my dream was to write books about the Lord and to go on tours talking to people. When I initially had this goal in mind, I wanted it to be to the thousands.
But I knew I had to start small, so at thirteen I started blogging.
It’s been an on and off process of blogging and YouTubing, the dream shifting all along the way, and me always wanted to reach fame…because in my mind, the moment I became famous would be the moment of success.
I’ve had many opportunities that looked like it would be the “it” moment.
I always would think, “Wow, this is it!”
And truth is, me sitting here blogging is it.
It’s not one moment that defines your success or your dreams coming true.
I write about God and talk about Him all the time.
I have amazing friends and family that support me in all I do, and even as my goals and endeavors shift and change in life, my dreams still come true. In various ways, but just the same, they come true.
The photo above was taken June of 2016. That girl had the wildest dreams, but shortly after this photo was taken, God changed the wild dreams.
I knew that I had an audition for The Voice in February of 2017.
But by the fall of 2016, I didn’t want the audition anymore.
I did…but I didn’t.
It’s like my heart and mind were in a tug-of-war.
I surrendered to what I felt God placing on my heart, on one last condition: I would audition for The Voice one last time, and if it was a “no”, I would stop pursuing the dream I had dreamed since age ten.
Log story short, it was a definite NO.
But I couldn’t be happier.
I am telling you what happened last summer and last fall, because those moments truly shaped my June of 2017.
I could have been in LA filming a TV show, but instead, I graduated high school, applied for a few jobs, got accepted to college, and am doing everything I said I’d never do.
Sometimes I have moments of asking God why He made me give up the dream, but most times I am thankful He made me give it up. Because I have never had more freedom and hope for my future than I do right now.
This past month went NOTHING like I had dreamed of it going, but here I am.
Eighteen and happy.
Also, I graduated in June. That was a good moment. To anyone in highschool, enjoy it.
It seriously goes by so quickly. And don’t freak out about graduating and having to go to college, or get a job, or whatever it is that you want to do.
It’s okay, everything works out when it needs to, in the meantime, breathe.
It’ll be a good life.
Just because life isn’t going the way you wanted it to, doesn’t mean life isn’t happy or good.
Stay hopeful, endure the seasons, and embrace the moments.